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How To Measure For Replacement Windows Knowledge Base
How is the BEST way to measure for replacement windows? I need to replace my old wooden windows... to vinyl replacement windows. How do I measure them, without calling a professional? Please be precise, thank you.
How to install vinyl replacement windows.? How do you measure for replacement windows in a cement block house?
How do I measure for a replacement window? I have an old window in the back hall, how do I measure for a replacement? I dont want to remove the old window to the rough opening, I want a replacement that slides into the opening.
How do you measure a window for replacement ? To make sure you get the right size ?, and is the replacement something a handy homeowner can do ?.
How do I measure for a window replacement that was installed from the outside? My windows were installed from the outside and the siding was installed over it. I have already replaced one window, but my measurements were wrong making the window too small. I had to frame out the window to make it fit. Of course, after the window was in, I installed trim around the outside window to hide where I cut the siding away. It looks nice, but I don't want to frame all the other windows. All the instructions on the Internet are for windows with sashes or windows installed from the inside. Thanks for any guidance anyone might provide! Do I measure flange to flange or just measure what I see from the outside? Am I making this too complicated? It took so much longer with the first window because I had to frame out the window as the ordered window was too small.
Measuring for home replacement windows...? I have 4 windows that I need to replace. Any ideas or suggestions(or websites) on how to measure for and replace them myself with new vinyl windows? Thanks for the help!
Average cost of replacement windows for home?? per window? we cannot afford right know to do the whole house so i was thinking of just starting with our kitchen. whats an average cost per window with installation? i'm not sure what size is average but my kitchen has three windows, also i measured on the inside of frame which i hope is correct. the kitchen measurements are 35x44 27x52 and 22x35. anybody know how much i should look at spending??
how do i mesure windows for replacement? i want to replace my kitchen windows and i am not sure how to measure them I have a ruler / tape measure and i know how to use them but i would like to do them myself and am not sure how to measure them.
price and time on window replacement on one side of double pain unless you have to replace whole window? "hello, i have what used to be a double pain window split in middle like most, one side measures 47 1/2 inch and other length frame edge to edge measures about the same. One side on half window had 1 of the single pains broke out so its just single pain on one half now on this measurement, How much approx to replace, how common is this size for a house, and if you usaullly order this size, how long does it take to order and complete this small job?" in Yahoo! Answers
How do I measure for Replacement doors and windows? I e-mailed Lowes and asked them, but I haven't heard back. What, exactly, do I measure??
Having trouble gaining administrator permission/s to Windows/System 32 for a corrupted file replacement.? Upon startup, I am having an issue which includes the error [Do Open Pipestream/scrrun.dll]. Doing some basic research this morning, I've discovered that the scripting is corrupted and have downloaded a new "scrrun" to replace the existing one. However, I am having trouble moving the file to the folder due to administrator privileges (Vista is annoying). I have tried opening Properties/Security for the SYstem32 folder and modifying the priveledges allowed by users to no avail and with the repeated message "Access Denied" (even though I am logged as the administrator of the computer). How can I setup the folder to allow myself access to replace a corrupted file inside System 32? As I said, when attempting to change securities measures within it to allow file modification, I get a constant, irritating message reporting "Access Denied". I'm all out of ideas here. Help!
What is the best way to measure for a replacement window? I'm about to order some replacement vinyl windows and am not sure where to measure to assure the most accurate measurements. I have a brick house and was told to measure from brick to brick around the window on the outside of the house. Is this the best way? I am also aware that many times, when an order is placed, the windows will come slightly smaller. Please respond only if you have successfully measured and replaced a window. Thanks. I'm ordering my windows from Home Depot, and not from one of their sales reps (those are twice as much money). They don't come out and do measurements. They only advise on how to measure, a method I've tried in the past and was not happy with my too-small window--What good is an insulated window when there is all kinds of air passing all around it? Yeah, we caulked...a lot, but there is so much white showing around the border of the window I think it looks funny from the outside up against my brick. I just don't want my windows to come too small. A little small to make it plumb and play it safe is no big deal though. But an inch? I hired a handyman to install my windows. He just measured from drywall to drywall on the inside of the house--not very accurate, but adequate for estimates on windows . Another handyman told me to measure from brick to brick on the outside. Is that the opening? I would just tear out a window to measure the opening, but it's too cold to have an open window.
Queston about bank law/rules regarding insurance checks.? Someone backed rather speedily into our car while it was parked and minding its own business along the street. The car, a 96 Lumina, unfortunately was considered totaled and is in barely runnable condition. We received the check Wednesday morning and eagerly went to our bank to cash the check to go find a replacement before our poor Lumina bites the dust. Thankfully we opted for keeping the car and had the $200 deducted from the settlement amount to keep it or we'd be in a more serious situation now. Our bank refused to give us more than $100 now for the check, stating that it would be at least 5 business days, although the lady quoted us next Friday as 5 days, since we didn't have enough in the bank to cover it. That was reasonable to us other than her 5 day calculation. We left, check still in our possession. We decided that we didn't want to take a chance on a dead car before the check cleared and called my parents, who had enough money in their account to cover the deposit of the check and give us the cash- effectively loaning us the money until the check cleared, which wasn't something I wanted to do, but the situation called for desperate measures. My mother took me to her bank to do the transaction, I'd endorsed the check and at the window she also endorsed the check to deposit it in her account. The bank manager came out and explained to Mom that the check was now void because according to her, federal law only allows for ONE signature and "no other marks whatsoever" on insurance checks. Even the teller looked a bit skeptical about this "law". The bank manager went on to make a huge fuss about calling the insurance adjuster, loudly demanding to know if it was a legitimate check and then went on to tell him in a rather condescending tone that I'd made a "little boo-boo" in trying to get the cash for my check now when I should have known I'd have to wait several days for the check to clear. After the call, she gave me a long speech about how the law has made it harder than ever to cash checks and that if my bank only made me wait 5 business days they were more than reasonable, she would have held it 11 days. She said insurance checks are the ONLY type of check that can't be passed off like that. If that's the case, why don't they have some notification of that posted so people don't have to go through the hassle we will. If we hadn't bought the car back, we'd be without transportation for over a week. So, my main question is, is there some mystical new law that states that insurance checks can only be signed by one person ever? Second, isn't there some new electronic check system that was supposed to make check cashing and clearing faster? According to her it's slower now than ever. I talked to a car dealer later in the day and he said people come in and sign over insurance settlement checks to him all the time and the same bank, different branch, takes them with no problem. It's not like Mom's a stranger there, she and Dad have been with that bank since the 70s, never has bounced a check, keeps several thousand dollars in their bank all the time, and is on a first name basis with the bank manager.
What is the proper way to measure a window opening for a replacement window.? Would Like to replace windows the cheapest way possible. I want to make a proper measurement and by the new windows at somewhere like Menards.
what is the most accurate way to measure my windows , so I know what size to buy? I want to put vinyl replacement windows in my house, but not sure how to measure them. I want to make sure I buy the right size.
A handy man offered to install replacement windows for $100 a piece. Is this a good deal? He measured and told me what size to buy. I would buy the windows myself where ever I want. I have two windows at 34x27 and two at 57x28 1/2.
How do I go about fixing broken windowpanes on vinyle windows? I was installing a new Milgard window and accidentally broke one of the panes. I need to pry off the plastic coverings, measure the window and order a replacement double pane at a glass supplier. Is this a do it yourself project?
Question about buying a replacement windows.? Will you be able to find an exact window size as the one you measured at your home? Are they going to customize it or you'll have to go a bit smaller size than what you had measured. How small should you go down. I understand it will be lesser 1/4 inch on what you had measured.
measuring and replacing a window with a new wood/vinyl replacement window? I have a tilt in window now with spring loaded jambs
I want to replace my homes windows? I want to replace my homes windows, would it be cheaper to do it my self? I want to replace the complete windows not replacement windows, I have vinyl siding on my house would this interfere with installation? how would i go about measuring and ordering new windows? the reason I want to replace the complete windows I want to make sure there is proper insulation around them and my sills are wood and rotting and cracking.
What IS it with replacement window companies??? Everyone wants to send someone to my house to "measure" before they give me any sort of price. I need only three windows - all the same size - and have the approximate measurements. Why won't someone simply give me an "approximate" cost over the phone without the need to make the infamous in-home appointment (taking up MY valuable off-work time!) so they can then try to sell me the more expensive model? I just want to compare a few manufacturer's mid-range model prices! Gr-r-r-r-r!!
How do you measure to replace a window? Hi this summer I broke a sliding window in my house. I would like to replace it and the frame and everything fro a newer style window. How do I measure correctly to ensure I get the correct size of replacement frame. I want to remove the aluminum one and replace it with a vinyl frame. However I do not want to buy something pull out the old one and then be left with the headache of holy cow it's just to short to narrow to long etc. Thanks
Andersen Window Replacement- date stamp I cant read the full code on my window to have it replaced. Does? anyone have Anderson double pane measuring 67 length x 43 1/2 wide approx. I could be off a few cm. The code stamped in corner is 16CC CBA 244 C? -86. Can't read the 3 after the C. Mine has the white exterior sash. Thanks so much I need to get it replaced ASAP.
Windows XP shell problems.? A few days ago I installed an entire shell replacement for my Windows XP installation. However the shell replacement was a little quirky, for example accessing a folder's properties by right clicking on in caused a send error report to come up in it's place. However, before installing the shell replacement I took some precautionary measures. First of all I made a system restore checkpoint and secondly I backed up all my critical data. I have uninstalled the shell replacement but the quirky behavior still persists. I have rolled back to the system restore checkpoint, but to no avail. I am thinking about repairing my Windows XP shell by using the 'repair existing installation' function in the Windows XP CD. Will doing so damage program settings such as uTorrent and Outlook?
Tips on removing ceramic tile from a window Sill.? We just moved into our house this past summer and are in the ever-continuing process of remodeling. We are having replacement windows installed, but before the contractors come to measure for our windows, I need to remove the Ceramic Tile that makes up almost all of the window sills. I started in the kitchen last night with a hammer and masonry chisel, and boy, was it tough! The tile was breaking up, but it was very difficult to remove all of the tile from the grout bed. I was going to remove the grout bed as well, but it seems to be a part of the wall. Is there an easier way to remove this type of tile?
Can u close an electric window manually? The motor has been burnt out on my bmw rear window(thanks to my son) It smelt bloody awful It is open and I and took ages to stop smoking.Obviously I want to close it, even as a temporary measure while I find a replacement .Is there a way of closing it manually? Ive read that it can be done but no one says how! Does anybody know how to do it? the door has been split down and the motor has been removed...however the window will not budge a cm!!!
Double Glazed Patio Window Cost? I recently accidentally smashed the outer glass panel on my double glazed patio doors. The panel measures around 6ft high by 3ft wide. Does any one know how much a replacement panel is likley to cost? IM assuming they would take out the panel and replace with new? The door is over 10 years old so I guess a new panel would have to conform to the latest energy saving requirements? How much is this likley to cost in the UK?
Fixing a Window Screen? We have a small window in our kitchen and the bottom screen just broke (as in, one of the clips just snapped so the screen keeps falling against the window). We measured the screen to be about 16" x 32". Could we get a replacement screen at, say, home depot? or do we need to find a custom window repair shop?
Offer less or walk away? 1st day on mrkt offered 460k on1980 outdated home. Comps are at 500k.? Our offer accepted at $500 over another full price bidder we were told. Priced we THOUGHT because of 1980 everything--appliances, flooring, windows etc. NO upgrades ever & tons of deferred repairs. Tax records say 2358' , seller says 2788' we measured 2570'. Inspector found not working: roof needs replacing built in microwave doesn't work built in oven door won't close -bent open one inch on side no disposal--no kidding--we think when it quit working they just took it out and never replaced it garage door to house's frame broken or kicked in dishwasher original and rusted out inside all windows lost seals and some wont stay open faucets in master bath wont turn on cold water (yes water's on) entire sprinkler system doesn't work concrete walkways out back all cracked and unlevel one of two water heaters-the 1984 one needs replacement no ventilation for furnace and water heaters in basement and MUCH MORE!!! Should we reoffer 40k less or walk away? Yes, our offer is contigent upon the home inspection. We can ask for the repairs to be fixed or walk away with our deposit. We would like them to fix them or take money (alot off) for the repairs. I just don't know which items are ones I am entitled to ask for to be repaired. Our agent's only help is to say, determine what you want fixed and what your bottom line is. That's why asking for help as to what is reasonable. Thanks
Is your son or daughter a computer hacker (READ)? As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA. Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children's education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!" As you can imagine, I was amazed. A computer hacker in my own house! I began to monitor my son's habits, to make certain that Cindy wasn't just telling stories, as she is prone to doing at times. After a few days of investigation, and some research into computer hacking, I confronted Peter with the evidence. I'm afraid to say, this was the only time I have ever been truly disappointed in one of my children. We raised them to be honest and to have integrity, and Peter betrayed the principles we tried to encourage in him, when he refused point blank to admit to his activities. His denials continued for hours, and in the end, I was left with no choice but to ban him from using the computer until he is old enough to be responsible for his actions. After going through this ordeal with my own family, I was left pondering how I could best help others in similar situations. I'd gained a lot of knowledge over those few days regarding hackers. It's only right that I provide that information to other parents, in the hope that they will be able to tell if their children are being drawn into the world of hacking. Perhaps other parents will be able to steer their sons back onto the straight and narrow before extreme measures need to be employed. To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker. I advise any parents to read this list carefully and if their son matches the profile, they should take action. A smart parent will first try to reason with their son, before resorting to groundings, or even spanking. I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary. 1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs? Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider. I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites. 2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing? Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding. 3. Has your child asked for new hardware? Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer. If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well. 4. Does your child read hacking manuals? If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds. There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond. If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure. 5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day? If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day. 6. Does your son use Quake? Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school. If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school. 7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour? As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature. Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself. 8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"? BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone. Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional. If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface. 9. Has your son radically changed his appearance? If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences. 10. Is your son struggling academically? If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically. I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. Your child's future may depend upon it. Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity, that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart. It cannot be taken too seriously.
Is your son or daughter a computer hacker (READ)? As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA. Two years ago, my wife Carol and I decided that our children's education would not be complete without some grounding in modern computers. To this end, we bought our children a brand new Compaq to learn with. The kids had a lot of fun using the handful of application programs we'd bought, such as Adobe's Photoshop and Microsoft's Word, and my wife and I were pleased that our gift was received so well. Our son Peter was most entranced by the device, and became quite a pro at surfing the net. When Peter began to spend whole days on the machine, I became concerned, but Carol advised me to calm down, and that it was only a passing phase. I was content to bow to her experience as a mother, until our youngest daughter, Cindy, charged into the living room one night to blurt out: "Peter is a computer hacker!" As you can imagine, I was amazed. A computer hacker in my own house! I began to monitor my son's habits, to make certain that Cindy wasn't just telling stories, as she is prone to doing at times. After a few days of investigation, and some research into computer hacking, I confronted Peter with the evidence. I'm afraid to say, this was the only time I have ever been truly disappointed in one of my children. We raised them to be honest and to have integrity, and Peter betrayed the principles we tried to encourage in him, when he refused point blank to admit to his activities. His denials continued for hours, and in the end, I was left with no choice but to ban him from using the computer until he is old enough to be responsible for his actions. After going through this ordeal with my own family, I was left pondering how I could best help others in similar situations. I'd gained a lot of knowledge over those few days regarding hackers. It's only right that I provide that information to other parents, in the hope that they will be able to tell if their children are being drawn into the world of hacking. Perhaps other parents will be able to steer their sons back onto the straight and narrow before extreme measures need to be employed. To this end, I have decided to publish the top ten signs that your son is a hacker. I advise any parents to read this list carefully and if their son matches the profile, they should take action. A smart parent will first try to reason with their son, before resorting to groundings, or even spanking. I pride myself that I have never had to spank a child, and I hope this guide will help other parents to put a halt to their son's misbehaviour before a spanking becomes necessary. 1. Has your son asked you to change ISPs? Most American families use trusted and responsible Internet Service Providers, such as AOL. These providers have a strict "No Hacking" policy, and take careful measures to ensure that your internet experience is enjoyable, educational and above all legal. If your child is becoming a hacker, one of his first steps will be to request a change to a more hacker friendly provider. I would advise all parents to refuse this request. One of the reasons your son is interested in switching providers is to get away from AOL's child safety filter. This filter is vital to any parent who wants his son to enjoy the internet without the endangering him through exposure to "adult" content. It is best to stick with the protection AOL provides, rather than using a home-based solution. If your son is becoming a hacker, he will be able to circumvent any home-based measures with surprising ease, using information gleaned from various hacker sites. 2. Are you finding programs on your computer that you don't remember installing? Your son will probably try to install some hacker software. He may attempt to conceal the presence of the software in some way, but you can usually find any new programs by reading through the programs listed under "Install/Remove Programs" in your control panel. Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash". The best option is to confront your son with the evidence, and force him to remove the offending programs. He will probably try to install the software again, but you will be able to tell that this is happening, if your machine offers to "download" one of the hacker applications. If this happens, it is time to give your son a stern talking to, and possibly consider punishing him with a grounding. 3. Has your child asked for new hardware? Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards, and larger hard drives, or even more memory. If your son starts requesting these devices, it is possible that he has a legitimate need. You can best ensure that you are buying legal, trustworthy hardware by only buying replacement parts from your computer's manufacturer. If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well. 4. Does your child read hacking manuals? If you pay close attention to your son's reading habits, as I do, you will be able to determine a great deal about his opinions and hobbies. Children are at their most impressionable in the teenage years. Any father who has had a seventeen year old daughter attempt to sneak out on a date wearing make up and perfume is well aware of the effect that improper influences can have on inexperienced minds. There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond. If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure. 5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day? If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day. 6. Does your son use Quake? Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school. If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school. 7. Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour? As a child enters the electronic world of hacking, he may become disaffected with the real world. He may lose the ability to control his actions, or judge the rightness or wrongness of a course of behaviour. This will manifest itself soonest in the way he treats others. Those whom he disagrees with will be met with scorn, bitterness, and even foul language. He may utter threats of violence of a real or electronic nature. Even when confronted, your son will probably find it difficult to talk about this problem to you. He will probably claim that there is no problem, and that you are imagining things. He may tell you that it is you who has the problem, and you should "back off" and "stop smothering him." Do not allow yourself to be deceived. You are the only chance your son has, even if he doesn't understand the situation he is in. Keep trying to get through to him, no matter how much he retreats into himself. 8. Is your son obsessed with "Lunix"? BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone. Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional. If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface. 9. Has your son radically changed his appearance? If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences. 10. Is your son struggling academically? If your son is failing courses in school, or performing poorly on sports teams, he may be involved in a hacking group, such as the infamous "Otaku" hacker association. Excessive time spent on the computer, communicating with his fellow hackers may cause temporary damage to the eyes and brain, from the electromagnetic radiation. This will cause his marks to slip dramatically, particularly in difficult subjects such as Math, and Chemistry. In extreme cases, over-exposure to computer radiation can cause schizophrenia, meningitis and other psychological diseases. Also, the reduction in exercise may cause him to lose muscle mass, and even to start gaining weight. For the sake of your child's mental and physical health, you must put a stop to his hacking, and limit his computer time drastically. I encourage all parents to read through this guide carefully. Your child's future may depend upon it. Hacking is an illegal and dangerous activity, that may land your child in prison, and tear your family apart. It cannot be taken too seriously.
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